We all have to deal with uncontrollable events. In recent times, these include social and political upheaval, financial and economic insecurity, and a global pandemic. Then there is a plethora of challenges that bombard us on a personal level –a health crisis, the death of a loved one, relationship issues, and job security—among others. One of the most important traits you will need to navigate these inevitable curveballs is resilience. Of course, resilience is not the mother of all personality traits, but it does create many positive outcomes.
While resilience can be seen as a personality trait, it could easily be seen as a psychological quality, since it is in fact a mindset. It could also be viewed as a skill because it is something you can learn and improve upon. No matter the label you choose to use, resilience speaks to the ability to adjust to, recover from and grow out of adverse situations. Rather than allowing life’s inevitable challenges to crush them, resilient people find ways to change course, strengthen their resolve and keep on pushing forward toward their goals. In other words, resilient people do not experience less anxiety, disappointment, heartache, or stress than everyone else. Instead, they find healthy ways to integrate harsh experiences into their lives.
The term resilience is from the Latin verb “resilire”, meaning to rebound or recoil, perhaps explaining why we often hear people speaking of resilience as the “ability to bounce back from a setback”. While that is so, resilience is far more than that. As an author, Dr Rick Hanson, tells resilience is the skill you need to survive the worst day of your life and every moment of your life. Resilience is the ability to confront, learn from, become stronger, and grow from the adversity we face in life.
What Creates Resilience?
Resilience is a process that begins in childhood and continues throughout our lives. I am sure you would agree that the story of our lives is an ever evolving one, leading to several ways in which one can become resilient. All the undesirable experiences that we encounter provide opportunities for us to develop resilience. As the ancient philosopher, Epictetus, once said,
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” When adversity is met with positive emotions and an ability to adapt, a person will become more resilient. Being in a supportive environment will also help someone to become more resilient.
Notwithstanding, there are specific resilient skills that can be learned. Anyone can learn how to:
Break out of negative thought cycles
Start challenging your negative thoughts by questioning their accuracy and validity. Identify any evidence that supports or refutes your negative thought, and consider alternative perspectives. Practicing mindfulness and engaging in activities that bring you joy can also help to shift your focus away from negative thoughts.
Resist the temptation to catastrophize
We sometimes catastrophize but this is not grounded in reality.
Resisting the temptation to catastrophize can be challenging, but there are several strategies you can employ. One strategy is to practice mindfulness and stay present in the moment. This can help you avoid getting caught up in worst-case scenarios. You could also challenge negative thoughts by questioning their accuracy and validity. Learning to focus on the present and reminding yourself that you have coped with difficult situations before is also a good way to resist the urge to catastrophize. Additionally, using positive self-talk and seeking support from a therapist or counselor can prove to be hugely beneficial. Remember to be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time.
See challenges as an opportunity
Learning to see challenges as opportunities can be a powerful mindset shift that allows you to approach difficulties with a sense of optimism and possibility. One way to do this is to focus on the potential benefits and growth opportunities that a challenge may bring. Instead of dwelling on the problem, try to identify possible solutions and take action to address them.
Another way is to see challenges as a chance to learn and develop new skills and strengths. You can also try to reframe the situation, by looking for the positive aspects or the hidden opportunities that it may bring. It’s important to remember that challenges are a normal part of life and that they can help you to grow and become a stronger and more resilient person. With this mindset, you can approach challenges with a more positive attitude, and find ways to turn them into opportunities for growth and success.
Look for upsides when faced with difficult situations
Looking for the upsides when faced with difficult situations can be a powerful way to shift your perspective and find opportunities for growth and learning. You can start by finding ways to focus on the things that you are grateful for, even in difficult times. You could also consider what you have learned from the situation or what you might be able to learn from it in the future. Try to find ways to turn the situation into an opportunity for personal growth or to make a positive change in your life or in the lives of others. You can also try to find the humor in the situation, or look for the silver lining. It’s important to remember that difficult situations can often lead to personal growth and development. With this mindset, you can approach challenges with a more positive attitude and a sense of hope.
Keep On Pushing!
